To Gift Registry, Or Not To Gift Registry, that is the question

A friend of mine just received a birthday party invite that had a gift registry card to Toys R Us. I’ve heard about this fascinating creature, but have never seen one up close. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. I think it’s GENIUS!! We have baby and wedding registries, why are people insulted by a birthday one? If it means I’m not answering that unavoidable question “so what does xxx want for his birthday?” for the 1,000 time, isn’t it a good thing? No one asks the MTB or the blushing bride “so what do you want for your baby/wedding?” In fact, it’s considered poor taste to even do such a thing, but to expect a registry card in your invite, and if you lost it, you better ask someone else.

A lot of parenting sites say it teaches kids to expect too much, and not just enjoy the company of their friends. Doesn’t a baby registry say “I’m not buying stuff for my kid, I want you to foot the bill”. Shouldn’t we just bask in the glow of the pregnant mother? And good grief, would you even think about showing up to a wedding empty handed? You know people have shelled out hundreds (maybe thousands) of dollars, so the silver soup tureen is the least you can do.

Why don’t birthday parties get the same respect? Yes, they come around every year, but it’s still a major milestone. God forbid, you may not live to see the next one. I especially like the idea of the birthday registry because of those awkward moments when the child has loudly declared “oh I already have one of these!” (another parenting issue for another day) or they show no interest at all, and barely thank you (again, another issue, another day).

Incidentally, we just went through this last issue, and my kid’s feelings were really hurt. We spent some time looking for the perfect gift and it wasn’t even acknowledged. Isn’t that why we force kids to watch the birthday kid open up all the loot, to see the happiness on his/her face when they receive the (at that moment) perfect gift?

And speaking of gift-giving, what about the “we don’t want gifts” invite? It screams against everything that I am, every fiber of my being. It’s the host/guest dance. You invite me to an event, I bring a token of my gratitude. I’m sorry moms, the birthday is not the time to be high and mighty. Because it causes the situation where some people bring, some don’t and everyone feels uncomfortable. Birthday parties are not the time to decide “we have too much crap”. How about just asking for gift cards?

Wait, does that sound bad? I LOVE gift cards, especially to places that I don’t have to buy toys. Last party, we received ice-cream and Target cards, and by golly they were the bestest. Plus, the kids forgot about the Target cards, I believe I bought more bins for all the crap they have. Yes, I’m Evil Mom. The kids do have enough crap though. Don’t get me started on the goody bags full of candy and cheap toys that I’m digging out of the car, couches, and toy bins.

BTW, there are lots of gift registry places out there. For example, My Registry lets you register at different stores and it all shows on one registry. You could use it for any occasion, Christmas, Bar Mitzvhas, etc.

Anyway, I’m digressing again. I personally wouldn’t do a registry only because my kids really truly love anything they get, and if it’s Star Wars or Power Rangers, they are set. Even if they get doubles, now they won’t fight over the same toy (and I prep them for that situation, BEFORE the party!). And I’m not just saying that because my boys are perfect. No, really, I’m not. But I’m all for it for someone else. Of course, if the only things on there are child-sized cars and game systems, they’ll probably be getting a coloring book from us this year.