Mama, Don’t Let Your Babies Blow Whistles At Party City A.K.A. Ignorance Is Bliss

We interrupt our regularly scheduled We Go Wednesday for a Public Service Announcement.

The toy/video-game aisle is not a drop-off babysitting service.

The bulk bin at the grocery store is NOT a buffet line.

The toy bulk bin at Party City is NOT a buffet line.

Do not let your kids blow on the whistles AND THEN PUT THEM BACK.

Such skin-crawling revelations on my recent foray to the P.C. I heard the tooting from the back of the store, and imagine my utter shock when I cut the corner and two little ones were digging through the bulk bin of favors and blowing away on the various instruments, putting them back and getting another. Where’s mom? Less than 2 feet away, texting.

Oh, and wait, when she finally looked up, she told them to stop. And they didn’t. I bee-lined for the register to inform the clerk of the proceedings. Yeah, I’m THAT mom. I don’t even need to explain the health/moral/just plain crappy parenting obligations. Sadly, he was doing a balloon run. The other mother at the register had been watching the proceedings with the look of sheer disgust on her face. We exchanged the look, and she said ‘Oh, I’m so telling them when they get back’. Bless her heart, because I had to get the hell outta Dodge before the righteous indignation became too much to hold back.

What’s even worse is the boy’s latest obsession is with a science book full of color photos of all types of creepy-crawlies that you can only see with a microscope. Does one really need to see all the lifeforms on the head of a pin magnified 1,000 times? And of course, he wants to read to me all the gory details. Mom, did you know that when you flush the toilet, germs travel from the handle to the faucet knobs and end up all over the bathroom counter where we have our toothbrushes and toothpaste? Go, education!

The moral of the story? If you need to buy bulk toys (and bless you P.C. for an ingenious idea) I would suggest nuking them in a chlorine bath. If you have to buy bulk foods, try to aim for the ones with the pull-down spouts. Otherwise, cross your fingers and hope for the best. I mean, the human race has been around for awhile, so I figure we’ll probably survive worse. Ah, that felt good. I haven’t ranted in awhile. And if that mom is reading this post, shame, shame on you!