I intensely dislike Crocs (and Wal-mart)
(I’m not allowed to say “hate”, it’s a bad word that my kids can’t say, like “stupid” and “dumb”. And in every adult conversation, they correct every adult that says that. So you can imagine how it is when adults start talking politics.)
I was at Wal-mart late the other night, hoping none of my friends would see me. I’ve always hated Wal-mart, especially since I’ve been avoiding it like the plague, but with rising costs, much like getting my eyebrows waxed, it is a necessary evil. True to form, there were 10,000 people in line, with two shopping carts each, filled to the brim, and of the 25 registers, 4 were open. But where else am I going to find 2-pack glue sticks for 25 cents or a 5 lb bag of meatballs for $7?
Did you say Costco? Screeeeeshcrshh….you’re breaking up, I can’t hear you……so, anyways, I’m walking past a delightful bin full of Frocs…(Wal-mart’s Croc version) that are 50% off, so making them $4.50. A full bin of them. A FULL BIN! After nearly gagging on the sight of so many, I mentally file that away for later. Bigger problems are on the horizon.
Let’s see, should I stand behind the women with 7 kids, where only 4 are wearing shoes and eating food out of the cart, or behind the grandparents paying with a gazillion coupons, and can’t figure out how to use the card reader. Hmm…I think I’ll take the overweight lady in the wheel-chair who has been dragging her cart behind her, screeching at someone a few aisles over in the magazine section and is now waiting for help out to her car. I’m dying a slow death. Oh look, barefoot children coming out of the bathroom. At least pick up some damn Frocs and put them on their feet.
So just today, I received my new Hanna Andersson catalog. Why and how I’m on their mailing list is a mystery of the ages. But that’s not the issue. What is the issue are these….
Why, why, why, why, why, why, why are they faux-fur lined? Why? Thought you were getting away from them with the weather turning cold, didn’t you!!!! Did someone walking through muddy snow go, “Do you know what would be perfect right now? Shoes I can hose off…wait a minute, if we add fur….” But how will you hose them off? you ask. If you asked that question, you mercifully don’t own a pair. How did the shoe world’s version of cockroaches become fur-lined? I mean that in a good way though…they can be found almost everywhere on the planet and should never be seen in the light.
They are recyclable, odor-, skid- and fashion resistant, so hey at least they are doing good for the planet, right? I have friends who swear by them, never seen without them. Unless you are under the age of 5, those bad boys should not leave the garden. For pete’s sake, Jo-ann Fabrics have their own Frocs. I intensely dislike this footwear. I won’t call them shoes, because that would insult those hard-working, eco-hating shoes like fabulous leather boots or your favorite kicks.
Like the low-riding pants that show off your tramp stamp and shorts where the pockets are longer than the shorts, this is a painful fad that shows no signs of stopping. Now, they have been extended into the winter months. The boots aren’t so bad. At least there are no holes for those damn trinket-button-things. Seriously people, really? Could they make the shoes any fuglier? I can just see the wheels turning….do you know what these ugly-ass shoes need? Some ladybugs, rainbows and a smiley face.
The President, has been seen wearing them WITH BLACK SOCKS. Black socks people. And we all know how forward and fashion-conscience he is. He might as well been wearing brown sandals with white socks. No wait, that would actually be cooler.