American Girl, an American insanity

The economy can’t be in the toilet, do you want to know why? Because someone is making these damn dolls, and someone is buying them. Somehow I got on the American Girl doll catalog list, and received one. Being as I have 2 boys and a 14 year old girl, I don’t think I’m in their buyer demographic. I had heard of this phenom back when a friend of ours saved up all of her allowance and Christmas money to purchase the $90 doll. That’s right. I said $90. Mom refused to get it, and I don’t blame her. Mom also saw a generic version of the daybed at Target and was promptly rebuffed in her effort to purchase it for said doll. Apparently the doll would chafe if set in anything less, and since the daybed is $68, it may be another year before she can get her hands on that. That’s right. I said $68.

I guess, once again, I’m under a rock, smoking something, to have missed the memo on these dolls. Especially going through the catalog and nearly choking on the prices. There is the Just Like You line, where you can get your doll to look, well, just like you. A tad bit creepy, if you ask me, but then again, I don’t have girls. They are $90, and another $14 if you want her to come with pierced ears and studs and dangles to mix and match. Add a cell phone and charms for a grand total of $119. That’s right. I said $119. But she comes with an outfit and a book, so it’s totally worth it.

So of course, you have to have clothes for your doll, and let me tell you, these aren’t dress up like Barbie. There’s everything you can imagine, from the Singing Star, where you can purchase an acoustic guitar ($30) to go with her ensemble, to a snowboarding outfit and accessories. I mean boots, helmet, goggles, and oh yeah, a snowboard. The snowboard outfit and book will set you back $28, her snowboard and accoutrement will set you back another $32. That’s right, that doll is dressing better than you my friend.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg; there is the American Girl line, I’m assuming all this other stuff grew out of the popularity of the flagship? They have tree houses ($250), trestle tables ($78) made from solid pine, even a stable ($75). I could go on and on. There’s the Bitty Baby with all their stuff, coordinating outfits for you and your doll, go to the stores and eat with your doll. Seriously, I could go on and on. These dolls are eating off of a better table than most people. Do you have a solid pine table?

I’m sure that somewhere Shiloh Jolie-Pitt is dragging around a $42 Bitty Baby, like it was a $5 Wal-Mart doll. And I’m sure the wait-list to throw a $32/person party at one of their stores is months long. But when DOLLS are living better than I am, I must question the insanity that is the so-called American Dream, keeping up with the Jones, everyone wanting to do better than their parents and give their kids the world. Parents still stand in line to get their kid the hottest toy. Why? Because that kid will be the laughing stock of the preschool if they don’t have the latest Tickle-Me Seizure (I mean Elmo, sorry)?

I remember when Cabbage Patch Kids came onto the scene, not these sad, recent versions, I mean the ones with the cloth bodies and plastic heads that with a good swing could knock your brother out. I got one for Christmas, her name was Marcella Bertha. I don’t know how my mother procured one…that could explain the bites on her arm….just kidding! Who knew that would be the beginning of the end? That we would be willing to pay hundreds on a toy? Thank heaven I have boys…unless there is some overpriced gadget I’m missing? Oh yeah, it’s called XBOX 360. Was my husband not the laughing stock when he didn’t run out and buy Guitar Hero? He refused to pay full price, when it first came out, that brave and solitary soul. He did eventually…but now we are like three Heroes behind. I guess things don’t change.

BTW, the line featured at the top, is the American Girl of the Year 2008, Mia. This is her Whole World Collection , if you just want to knock it all out at once, it’s all yours for $459. Which, if you purchased everything separate would be $510.95, a steal if you ask me. I mean, it does come with an ice-rink for her to practice on.